


above the waves

by namjoonwae



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Happy Ending, JiHan, M/M, Seventeen - Freeform, bit of a slow burn, highschool!au, kpop, seventeen ensemble - Freeform, some conversation of homophobic beliefs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 17:43:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namjoonwae/pseuds/namjoonwae
Summary: Just a whisper, a simple short sentence from the other would've been nice. Anything, Jeonghan thought, to keep the silence above the waves that they were drowning in.





	1. Just the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been on both my Wattpad and on my AFF for... a while. Like. A long while. Therefore I wrote it a while ago, and I thought that I would transfer it over here as well, like I do with all of my other stories. So if you see this posted on Wattpad under the name MostAmazingAlyssa, or on AFF under the same username (namjoonwae), it's because it's me again. Hi. Thanks for reading guys. xx

It's not like they didn't try to make it work. Everything was going perfect until suddenly, it wasn't anymore. If you asked either of them, they would both give you a blank stare, and a slight shake of the head. And, well. It's not that they don't know. It's just hard to explain when someone you've known your whole life becomes a stranger.

It goes like this: Boy meets boy. Boy likes boy. Boy likes the other boy also, but is afraid to admit his liking to the other. Boy freaks out. Other boy panics. This goes round and round many times, until one of them finally either gets fed up of trying and stops, or one of them admits their feelings to the other and tries to do something about said feelings.

The latter is what ends up happening, surprisingly.

The boys, Jeonghan and Jisoo, had been friends since they were toddlers. They went to the same school, lived down the street from each other, their families were great friends. They shared friend groups, had afterschool activities with each other, even had the same interests as each other down to a t. All of that cliché, expected information. 

So when the questions came from their friends and families asking about what happened to the friendship between the two, all they get in response is a blank stare and a slight shake of the head. Jeonghan and Jisoo had been practically inseparable since they had met all of those years ago, and to see them be separated from each other for a long amount of time was. Well, odd, to say the least. Not only to them, but to everyone around them, also. 

Their friendship had always been open and honest. They told everything to each other. Nothing was a secret.

Which, Jeonghan supposes, is where everything went wrong in the first place.


	2. Realizations

Jeonghan looks at the clock in the class, sighing quietly. Could the day go any slower? To him, and to most of the other students, also, it feels like he's been in this class period for hours. It's actually only been about 40 minutes, with 10 left to go, sadly. 

Looking at his notes in front of him, he begins to think about his life, and how things had started to take an unexpected turn. It's like everything that he once had is now everything he can't even comprehend having in the first place. That's quite a shocking realization for anyone. 

It's not like Jeonghan doesn't have other friends to talk to, or hang out with. He has plenty of friends, and can talk to people easily enough. He has Hansol, and Jihoon, Chan, Wonwoo, Seungkwan - point is, he has plenty of other people to spend time with. That's not the problem, not even in the slightest. 

It's just. With Jisoo, everything is different. Jeonghan honestly feels like he can't be himself without Jisoo. Which Jeonghan knows isn't right, he can be fine without Jisoo (or so Jeonghan likes to think, anyway). He can live a perfectly good, healthier life with his family, and his other friends. Yes, that is what Jeonghan will do. He'll continue on like nothing happened. 

Of course, things never work out that easily. You can't just push away feelings that are always there, squash them down into nothingness to not be looked back on. It doesn't happen that way. It's like a slow burning, something that latches itself onto a person without them realizing until it's too late. Jeonghan has always thought that with love came consequences, no matter how hard you try to make the love last. 

Looking back on it now, Jeonghan notices little signs here and there that make him wonder why he didn't notice it before. The way that Jisoo was becoming distant, how he would never make the first move to talk to Jeonghan anymore. How Jisoo would limit the time spent showing skinship towards Jeonghan, despite never having a problem with it before. Jisoo suddenly seemed to be more open with other people, even people that he barely knew, rather than with his best friend.

A lot of things then added up. The sinking feeling that Jeonghan was feeling wasn't something he was used to, so he decided to push the feeling away. Probably not the best way to handle things, he knows this. It just make it easier to deal with. 

Jeonghan had never tried to talk to Jisoo about the situation. He meant to, he really did, but whenever he saw the younger, Jeonghan felt like his throat was constricting. Every word that he was going to say vanished from his mind. So he merely dealt with it, hoping that things would somehow figure themselves out. 

The bell then went off, shaking Jeonghan back into reality. Shaking his head, he put his stuff away, standing up and walking out of the Science corridor. 

~

Seeing his friends was something that Jeonghan was looking forward to. The day was dragging, and he really needed something to take his mind off of everything. So when lunch came, Jeonghan sat down next to Jihoon, looking around at his other friends at the table and smiling at them all when they greeted him. All of his friends had really different personalities, as expected, so this made their friendships... interesting, to say the least. There was a good dynamic between the more loud, energetic personalities and the more subdue, relaxed personalities. They balanced each other out perfectly. 

Conversation quickly started between the eight at the table. They talked about anything and everything, each trying equally as much to get Jeonghan's mind off of his thoughts from earlier. Without even having to say anything, they instantly knew what was making Jeonghan act as he was. The other guys were equally as good of friends with Jisoo as they were Jeonghan, which made the situation kind of tricky. They wanted their friends to be happy, and to work things out with each other. 

Lunch came to an end, so the eight parted with each other and wandered off to their last classes of the day. Jeonghan brings his books close to him, walking through the halls that are now slowly starting to dwindle out of people. Suddenly he hears laughter down towards the lockers, so he looks around to see a tall, thin, dark brown haired boy that he'd recognize anywhere. Jisoo. This time though, there's a girl with him. Jeonghan can't deny, the girl is beautiful; with dyed light blonde hair, and wide hazelnut eyes that sparkle with her smile, Jeonghan can see why Jisoo would like her. 

Jisoo unexpectedly looks up right at that moment, a small smile still on his face, his eyes burning with stars. Jeonghan gapes, trying to look away quickly, but doesn't manage to completely get away from being noticed. Their eyes meet, an indescribable feeling being locked for both of them to feel, to see. And just like that, it's gone. Jisoo looks down suddenly, bringing his attention back to the girl beside him. Jeonghan makes a short mental note that he thinks the girls name is Wendy. 

Jeonghan rushes through the hallway, determined to make it to his next class without running into the other two again.


	3. Party Time

Everything slowed down after that. School went on, life progressed as usual, but it was as if something was there, shielding life from actually being lived. Jeonghan couldn't believe that something like losing Jisoo could make him feel this way. That someone could be so important that it feels like you can't live without them. 

Jeonghan was more mad at himself than anything. If he wouldn't have been stupid, then maybe things would've been okay between them. Maybe they just could've moved on, made things easier within their friendship, and just ignored it. Ignore the feelings that were bubbling up within them, something that neither of them knew how to deal with. They never had to deal with it before. It wasn't normal. 

It's not that Jeonghan thinks that there's anything wrong with his feelings for Jisoo. Or, well, for his feelings towards any other boy, in general. He doesn't see anything wrong with himself, despite what some other people might think about it. It still took Jeonghan a while to wrap his head around the whole idea. He had never liked someone so much before this, and it came as a shock to him when he finally confronted his feelings rather than running away from them. 

Maybe it would've been better to just run away from his feelings. They might've still been there, but then at least he would still have Jisoo there with him. 

And the thing is is that Jeonghan could possibly still fix this. He could patch things up, make excuses as to why he was avoiding the other. Make it seem like nothing was wrong, nothing out of the normal. Of course he doesn't have feelings for his best friend, that'd be insane. If he could pull it off, then maybe everything would be okay.

Jeonghan sighed, looking up at his ceiling in his bedroom. That's another thing he has to work on not doing so much : daydreaming. Or over thinking. One of the two. Okay, maybe both. At least he admits to it. 

His friends had been trying to contact him, his phone going off constantly from the moment that he got home for the weekend. And it's not like he doesn't want to hang out with his friends, he does, it's just that he doesn't want to burden anyone else with his feelings. Jeonghan knows that his friends wouldn't mind helping him, that they would cheer him up with or without actually trying. Jeonghan just doesn't want to make it seem like it's their job to help him out of this mess of a situation that he made himself in the first place. 

He'll deal with it himself, thank you very much.

So he stayed in his room,trying his best not to overthink about things. He already finished his homework, already done the studying that he had to. Already talked to his family, already put on a smile and chatted lively enough that it seemed that everything was fine. And of course, everything was. Fine, that is. Maybe if he continued to think that it was, it would actually come true. 

Jeonghan doubted it. 

Having enough of his phone going off, Jeonghan swiped it off of the counter, looking at the caller ID of who was calling him. Hansol. Of course. 

Deciding to answer it, Jeonghan pressed the accept button, and flipped his hair out of his eyes. He wasn't sure exactly what he was thinking with the dyed purple locks, but whatever. It worked, for now. 

"Hello?"Jeonghan greeted, holding the phone close to his ear. All he got in response was static and distant yelling. Looking at his phone confusedly, Jeonghan was about to end the call when suddenly he hears a shout of "Yah! Jeonghan hyung!". Recognizing Hansol's voice, Jeonghan brought his phone back to his ear, listening to Hansol ramble on about a party that night that he was having at his house.

"And you need to be there! I'm not giving you a choice in this, hyung. Your presence is vital to this party. Be there at 8, no later. See ya there!" And suddenly the call in ended, before Jeonghan can even get a response out towards the younger. Shaking his head, Jeonghan puts his phone back on the charger, checking the time. 6:25. Not bad of a notice, since Hansol usually waited until the last second with planning things. 

~

Jeonghan walked towards Hansol's house, since the younger lived a street over. Trying not to shiver too much from the autumn temperature that keeps getting lower and lower as the time of the day gets later, Jeonghan practically bounced himself onto Hansol's front porch, pressing the door bell quickly. Hearing the 'ding dong' of the bell, Jeonghan waited for a moment, until Hansol's smiling face appeared behind the opened door. 

"Jeonghan! Come in, come in," Hansol greeted, and Jeonghan complied, walking into the warm house gratefully. Looking around, Jeonghan grinned to himself, thinking about all of the memories that were in the older Victorian styled home. He'd been friends with Hansol for a very long time, so every thing around him looks familiar and holds some sort of importance. 

Although all of the people crowding the halls were new. While Hansol had parties regularly, usually they weren't this crowded. Jeonghan and Hansol talked for a bit, stories and laughter working their way into the conversation. It's kind of crazy how much can be missed within a couple of days. 

After a while though, Jeonghan was alone at the party. Well he wasn't technically alone, but he didn't have his friends around him, which was basically the same thing as being alone, in his opinion. Messing with his shirt sleeves and looking around thoughtfully, Jeonghan couldn't come up with a reason as to why he needed to be at this party. Nothing of important was happening to him. He could probably leave, and it wouldn't make a difference. 

But Hansol told him he needed to be there, and being the good friend that Jeonghan was, he stayed.

Sitting down on one of the chairs that were in the kitchen, Jeonghan took a sip from the water bottle he was just given. Call him boring or whatever, but he wasn't going to take a chance with the beer that other people at the party were indulging themselves with. No thank you. 

Suddenly Jeonghan was beingd dragged by this wrist, and all he could do was follow dumbly as Jihoon dragged him through the living room and down the stairs, towards the basement. Jeonghan hadn't seen Jihoon before this, so he was glad to see his short, pink hair friend. At least someone familiar was around, finally. 

Coming to a stop at the foot of the basement, Jihoon let out a breath and looked at Jeonghan, smiling at him with a grin that could only mean trouble. "Jeonghan ah," Jihoon greeted warmly, and instantly Jeonghan knew that Jihoon had something up his sleeve. 

Looking behind them, Jeonghan noticed his other friends, all of them either standing near or sitting on the couch that was against the far wall. All of them were looking at him with odd, enthusiastic expressions, grinning at him nervously. 

Jeonghan grinned back at them, about to ask what was going on, when suddenly there were loud footsteps and small voices getting louder by the second. 

Looking up at the stairs confusedly, Jeonghan closed his mouth, his thoughts dissapearing from his mind. 

Wonwoo stepped off the last step of the stairs, dragging a confused looking Jisoo behind him. Jeonghan startled for a moment, looking at the two boys that just appeared.

Jeonghan and Jisoo locked eyes, neither of them sure of what to say. 

Oh, Jeonghan thought, trying to get his heart rate under control. This is why Hansol needed Jeonghan to be there.


	4. Confrontation and Confessions

"You two need to work this out," Wonwoo said, looking back and forth between Jeonghan and Jisoo. "We're sorry, we were going to let you work through this by yourselves, but it doesn't seem to be happening. The longer that this waits, the more pain that you both go through. Go. Talk. Don't come back out until something is figured out." And with that the younger pushed the two friends into the small room that settled inbetween the walls in the basement.

It's strange. At one point, Jeonghan and Jisoo could talk about literally anything for hours on end. No awkward silences, no pauses that would signify the conversation ending anytime soon. Now though, it's completely different. Jeonghan felt like he could laugh hysterically at how stupid this situation is, how it doesn't have to be this difficult to talk to someone that he used to be so close to. But of course, he doesn't laugh, or do anything like that at all; this isn't the time. They need to do something to fix this, and quickly.

Looking over at Jisoo, Jeonghan noticed slight changes in the other boy's appearance that he hadn't noticed before. Jisoo looked more lanky (despite always being as thin as a pole - which always worried Jeonghan, as he swore that wasn't healthy), he had faint bags under his eyes that despite his usual tiredness, had never actually resulted into actual bags - until now. Jeonghan couldn't help but wonder what had been causing Jisoo so much stress. He hoped that it wasn't over what they were going through - Jeonghan already felt bad enough about the situation, let alone if Jisoo was struggling with it so much.

Not that Jeonghan wasn't struggling, but. He was coping.

Neither one of them had dared to be the first to speak.

Just a whisper, a short sentence from the other would've been nice. Anything, Jeonghan thought, to keep the silence above the waves that they were drowning in.

Some things Jeonghan knew he had to do, despite really not wanting to. How difficult can it be to talk through your feelings?

"Hey..." Okay, start small, Jeonghan thought. He didn't want to get right into things immediately. He wanted Jisoo to say something, do something that would tell him anything of what the younger was thinking, feeling. Jisoo looked up from the marble floor, looking at Jeonghan with a perplexed look on his face. It's like he couldn't believe that Jeonghan had just said something to him. Which, given previous times, Jeonghan can't blame him for being surprised.

"H-hi." Jisoo's voice came out quietly, almost as if he wasn't sure about the one word greeting. Jisoo's eyebrows furrowed, then sealed his lips in a straight line.

"I'm sorry... For everything. I just. I didn't mean to make things so difficult. I've wanted to talk to you, it's just... I..." Jeonghan's voice shook, words tripping over each other every now and then. Don't over think it, just say how you feel. You won't know unless you try. And with this final thought, Jeonghan let out a breath, and began talking.

"Did I do something wrong? ....What happened to us? Everything was fine one moment, and the next we weren't even talking anymore. I've been avoiding you, and you've been avoiding me, and I'm sick of it. I know that I haven't been making this easier, but I need help here. I can't fix what's been broken if I don't know why it's broken in the first place." 

Jeonghan paused, watching Jisoo's reaction to his words. The other boy was staring at him thoughtfully, but with the neutral look on Jisoo's face, Jeonghan couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not. Continue. 

"I miss you, Jisoo. A lot. Our friendship hasn't been the same lately, and if there's anything that I've done, then please let me know. It's driving me insane." There. Not that difficult. Now the ball is in his court. 

Jisoo looked up, shaking his head and laughing quietly. Jeonghan gave him an odd look; this reaction definitely wasn't expected. Why was Jisoo laughing? Had Jeonghan said something unintenionally funny? Opening his mouth to speak, Jeonghan was cut off by Jisoo's laughter ridden answer.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you idiot," Jisoo started, his laughter subsiding. Looking closer, Jeonghan could see tears in Jisoo's eyes. Please don't cry, Jeonghan thought, feeling sick from the fact that he had caused this beautiful person so much distress. You should never feel this way. I'm sorry, Jisoo.

Jeonghan stayed quiet, prompting Jisoo to continue. As much as the older wanted to comfort the other, he knew that it wouldn't be the best idea. This needed to be waited out until something by Jisoo was said.

"How come I feel this way towards you? This isn't normal. This isn't natural. If my family knew..." Jisoo mumbled to himself, half hoping that Jeonghan would hear him, half hoping that he wouldn't.

Jeonghan heard. He didn't question.

Jisoo spoke again, putting his face in his hands and rubbing his temples lightly. "I miss you too, Jeonghan. Don't ever think that I don't. I'll always miss you, even if you're only away from me for a second. I'm sorry that you felt like it was all on you, I promise that it isn't. It's just... the way that I've been feeling towards you lately, and the way that I've been feeling towards myself, it just isn't... something that I was ready to deal with. It still isn't, honestly."

Listening intently, Jeonghan nodded, telling the other to continue when ready. "And I've been trying, so hard, to just ignore the feelings, to make them go away. But it isn't happening, and I'm so afraid..."

Jisoo's eyes overflooded, and soon there were big tears rolling down his face. His cheecks puffed, face getting warmer by the second. Jeonghan forced his thoughts from his mind, his instincts taking over. Moving towards Jisoo, Jeonghan placed his arms around the smaller boy, bringing the other so close that their heart beats collided. Jeonghan whispered into Jisoo's hair, I'm so sorry, Jisoo, I never meant for this to happen. 

"I'm so afraid that our friendship won't be the same," Jisoo sobbed, clinging onto Jeonghan. His head was in the crook of the older boy's neck, letting wet, hot tears fall down the others skin. "I'm afraid that you won't look at me the same, or that you won't feel the same way that I do. That you won't want anything to do with me. Please don't stop being my best friend, I don't think I can do this without you." Jisoo hiccuped, breathing heavily.

Everything that Jeonghan had been worried about slowly quieted. Jisoo had just confessed. Jeonghan hadn't, but now was better than never.

Jeonghan hushed the other boy quietly, letting his eyes fall shut as he just held onto the other. Jisoo felt so warm in Jeonghan's arms, so calm, like it was a natural, common occurance between the two. Neither one of them wanted to let go.

"I'm so sorry, Jisoo... I should've told you sooner. Your feelings aren't one sided. I... I've been feeling them, too. I don't know when, or how they started, they're just. There. And it's been driving me crazy," Jeonghan laughed quietly without humor, tears starting to develop into his eyes, also. Determined not to cry, Jeonghan held onto Jisoo tighter, running his hands through the others dark, short hair.

"Even if I didn't return your feelings, I wouldn't stop being your best friend. Especially over something like this. Neither one of us chooses how we feel, towards each other or towards anyone else, either. I'm just so glad that you told me. Thank you, Jisoo ah," Jeonghan whispered, eyes still closed.

And with that, the boys fell into a comfortable silence, holding each other close.


	5. Closure

With confessions came closure. Along with more troubles and complications for the both of them, which were honestly expected since neither of them really knew how to deal with the situation at hand. Jeonghan then knew how Jisoo felt, and Jisoo then knew how Jeonghan felt, but it was as if nothing actually changed between the two, even after they knew that their feelings towards each other were shared.

They still felt weary around each other, both holding some sense of feigned comfortability within their friendship. Jeonghan thought that this was ridiculous, they had already confessed to the other how they felt, what was so complicated about just being together? He just wanted his best friend back, and well, if their best friend status someday escalated to a relationship status, then he'd be perfectly okay with that, too.

With disdain, Jeonghan realized that it wouldn't be as simple as this. Jisoo needed to cooperate also, and while the younger did say that he felt the same way as Jeonghan did, Jisoo's contentment with himself was still lacking. Jisoo still wasn't completely accepting yet of who he was himself, or about how he felt towards the other male. Jeonghan completely understood this, but with the way that things were going, he couldn't see Jisoo changing his mind about things that quickly.

Jeonghan felt that he was okay with this. Despite his own feelings towards the other, and how he wanted everything to work out quickly, he knew this wasn't exactly realistic, so he would wait as long as Jisoo needed. Jeonghan knew Jisoo, knew how the other thought and processed things; it might take a while, but it would definitely be worth it.   
Closure, Jeonghan found, was an odd thing. Jeonghan was extremely glad that Jisoo shared his feelings, and that Jisoo felt the same way as he did. Jeonghan guessed that knowing this was better than not knowing it at all.

When the two had first walked out of the room in Hansol's basement, they were holding hands, with still puffed cheeks and red rimmed eyes. They noticed the way that their friends lit up with happiness that the two had worked it out. Which they did, somewhat, but it wasn't as simple as simply talking it out. It could've been, it should've been, but it wasn't.

The party took place about two weeks ago. Jeonghan and Jisoo had talked more often since then, but it was usually around their friends where they felt like they had to make some sort of peace with each other. Or make it seem like they were okay, anyway. Their friends expected that the two of them were the best of friends again, so if Jeonghan and Jisoo had to pretend that they were, then so be it.

Anything to continue their friendship - a rocky, slowly recovering friendship, at that - but it was still a friendship that both of them latched and clung onto, for better or for worse.

~

Loud conversation covered most of the table, Jeonghan's thoughts bouncing off of each other quickly, trying to keep up with the changes in conversation. There were now more people that were in their group, three new guys that Jeonghan hadn't quite caught the names of just yet. He supposed that they were okay though, since Seungcheol was talking to them steadily and enthusiastically.

The lunch period had just began, and Jeonghan already felt better with being around his friends. The presence of someone was missing though, and when he thought about it, Jeonghan realized that Jisoo wasn't at the table with them. Jisoo was quiet, usually, much more of a listener than a talker, so it wasn't surprising that Jeonghan hadn't quite noticed that the younger was gone. He was trying to destract himself from thinking about the other, which he found that he achived pretty well up until that point.

Yet eventually Jeonghan's curiosity got the best of him, so he glanced around the room, trying to find the other. For a moment there wasn't a sight of him, until Jeonghan's eyes went to the table in the far left of the room, sectioned off slightly from everything else. Seeing the familiar dark haired, fair skinned boy, Jeonghan's mouth curled into a grin. 

Despite things not being the best between the two at that moment, Jeonghan was determined that everything would work out fine between him and Jisoo. He just had to wait it out.  
Upon further expection, Jeonghan found that Jisoo wasn't alone at the table. Sitting next to him was Wendy, her light hair up in a messy yet (Jeonghan had to admit) adorable bun, her eyes crinkled with happiness as she laughed at something that Jisoo had said. Jeonghan's felt his heart sink, his grin fading as he looked away quickly, trying not to think too much about what he had just seen. The two were sitting together closely, their hands nearly touching, their laughter looking to be in sync.

Jeonghan hadn't thought about this before. What if Jisoo just blocked off his feelings for Jeonghan completely? If Jisoo never acted on his feelings towards Jeonghan, and chose to live his life, chose to find a girl that could give him everything that Jeonghan couldn't? Jeonghan gulped, his thoughts flying out of control as he thought about all of the ways that things could go wrong. Jeonghan didn't feel like he would get through this if something like that were to happen, if their friendship never went back to the way that it was before all of the complications started.

No, Jeonghan thought with a quick shake of his head, don't think that way. Jisoo told you his feelings towards you. He'll come around. 

Waiting was never Jeonghan's strong point.

But Jisoo was worth it, so Jeonghan would wait as long as Jisoo needed.


	6. Movie Night

Jeonghan hadn't experienced many things in his life that he actually had to wait for. Being an only child along with that fact that his parents were still married and happily together, meant that on a lot of levels, he got most of the things that he wanted when he wanted it. That's not to say that he was spoiled, or anything - definitely not. His parents taught him good manners, to live patiently and kindly, taught him that good things come with time. And of course, he knew these things. He valued these good lessons that he had learned in his short 16 years of life that he had experienced so far. 

It was just putting these lessons into action is what was difficult about it. Especially in this situation. 

The past week for Jeonghan had been moping around, trying to just breathe and go along with the day in the best way possible. He was so sick of it he could've wrapped himself into a fetal position and cried for hours, just to let the frustration out - that seemed like a brilliant idea to Jeonghan. But no, he wouldn't do that; his pride wouldn't allow him to do such a thing. Now, Jeonghan had never been a person who straight out rejected his feelings, no matter how they affected him - good or bad, he would get through them. Despite this, his pride was still something that he wanted to keep semi in relation with; maybe for no other reason than to have something to cling onto, but if that's the reason that he had, it would have to work.

He'd been going out with his friends more, in request to his father's constant complaint of 'needing to get the young one out of the house. It'll be good for you.' Which, Jeonghan thought and had shrugged, might actually be helpful in some ways. Jeonghan had then gone with Jihoon and Mingyu to the movies a few nights after the request, only to see one of the best ranking movies in the theater. All three of them had to admit that the movie was pretty good, despite it's cliche sort of ending. Jeonghan had had fun, despite his previous protesting.

Upon further socialization, Jeonghan had agreed to go with Wonwoo and Seungkwan out to the local mall that Friday night. This resulted in Wonwoo being chased around by both of the other boys, laughter and yelling following them through the malls corridors. Surprisingly they didn't get kicked out, which Jeonghan was very grateful for since his family frequentely visited the mall - getting kicked out wasn't exactly something he'd want to explain to his family, definitely not. 

Jeonghan was eternally grateful that he had the friends that he did, because he knew that some friends wouldn't be this accepting and supportive of how he was feeling, or what he was going through. Some people didn't accept others for the way that they were, and Jeonghan wanted his friends to know that he loved all of them and that he was thankful to have them in his life. Of course whenever he would mention this his friends would nod, smile and say something along the lines of 'I know, I love you too', and then move on. They knew. There was no explanation needed. 

But for then, on that late Saturday night, Jeonghan didn't have anyone to hang out with. His friends were all busy, his parents were out; Jeonghan didn't think his life would get any more boring, but it seemed like he was wrong with his assumptions on that matter.

Deciding that he had had enough of the silence, and enough of his self pity, he decided to put a movie on. Not exactly the most exciting thing, but it was something to keep him entertained for a while, nonetheless. 

He had already changed into his pajamas, the ones with the colorful print that he liked so much - not to mention they were so soft and flexible that he could use them as a blanket if he wanted to. Which he did end up doing when he laid back down after putting in one of his favorite movies. Cacooning himself into a ball of the soft material, Jeonghan yawned quietly, watching the beginning credits to the now playing film on his television. 

You're such a child, Jeonghan thought to himself, grinning slightly at the look of the animated characters running around on the screen. He mused his childish nature, basking in the nostalgia of not having a care in the world. He wished it could be that way again. 

Things could always be worse. But things could always be better, also. 

Jeonghan had told himself long ago to not get tangled up in drama, to not be one of those people. He didn't want his life to become a soap opera, while he just sat around and waited for his knight in shining armor to come and rescue him. That would not be the way that this story would end, Jeonghan could assure you of that. 

Huffing to himself quietly, Jeonghan concluded that he wanted more movies and ice cream, and less stress. Not that he actually had ice cream at that moment in time, but. Details, details.

Zoning out here and there, Jeonghan had the dwindling thought that he should probably actually go to bed and go to sleep. Yes, that is what Jeonghan would do. Standing up, albeit a bit woozy, the long haired boy made his way over to his bed, laying down comfortably. After pulling his navy blue sheets up to his chest and rubbing his eyes contently, Jeonghan started to fall into a quiet and easy slumber. 

The slumber (and his recent tiredness) didn't last long, however, due to a sudden loud tapping on his window pane. Opening his eyes groggily, Jeonghan's point of focus went over to the west side of his room, where he could see a figure standing, knocking quietly. 

Sudden fear ripped throughout Jeonghan's body, and suddenly he was standing, walking attentively over to the balcony's window. Opening the door quietly, Jeonghan's breath caught in his throat when he saw who was standing just a mere foot away from him.

The taller, now nearly ginger haired boy, clad in a dark jacket with black jeans to match, looked up, catching Jeonghan's eyes wearily.

"I need to talk to you."


	7. Together

Jeonghan opened his mouth to speak, to say something of coherency that could be understanded by the younger male that disturbed Jeonghan's (much needed) rest. All that followed was silence, a tone dead noise, only accompanied with the light continous voices of the actors in the movie that still rolled on Jeonghan's tv. The two looked back and forth at each other for a few moments, and suddenly Jeonghan had the sudden urge to yell at the other, to make his point clear that he didn't want his emotions to be played with anymore. 

No, Jeonghan imagined saying, I'm sorry; you mean so much to me, but this is already complicated enough. I don't want to hear. 

But of course, this is not what Jeonghan said. Jeonghan didn't say anything, he just hesitantly moved out of the way, letting the taller boy into his room. Jeonghan shut the door quietly, aware that it was getting late and that his parents would be home soon. Not that they'd mind that Jeonghan had someone over, especially not this significant person in particular; Jeonghan just didn't want questions. He already had enough of them, he wasn't very keen on adding even more from his parents into the mix. 

Jisoo, Jeonghan thought, sighing as he watched his best friend for years sit on the edge of his bed, the younger looking timid and not very sure of himself. Why do you do this to me? You can't keep popping in and out of my life like this. It isn't fair. Make up your mind. Please. Or else I'll do it for you. 

Jeonghan could've said his thoughts, spoke them out loud for both of them to consider. He could've said a lot of things, but considering that Jisoo came to him, and not him to Jisoo, Jeonghan kept quiet, letting Jisoo decide the timing himself. 

The ginger haired boy looked at the ground for a moment, seeming to contemplate something. Jisoo's hands shook deligently, even as they were sitting in a death grip inbetween each other, and when he glanced up, Jeonghan could see the sheer pain in the others dark auburn eyes.

Jisoo spoke, his sudden tone startling Jeonghan out of his daze. Fiddling with his hair, Jeonghan listened closely to the words that sounded within the room. 

"...Where do I even begin with this?" Jisoo breathed out, seeming like all of the air withdrew from his body with that one simple question. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I haven't been there for you lately, that I've been pushing you away, that I've been a terrible friend - I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for all of this. I really..." Jisoo paused for a moment, looking over at Jeonghan. Jeonghan could tell that Jisoo wanted to make this as sincere as possible, and the best way to do that was to have eye contact, and to actually listen completely to what Jisoo was saying. 

"I really needed some time to myself. Lately I've been so confused, about myself and about you - about what is right and what is wrong. My feelings have been off the walls, and I needed to think about everything. I hope that you understand that." Jisoo had a hopeful look in his eyes, practically begging Jeonghan to get what he was saying. Jeonghan wanted to laugh; he couldn't believe that Jisoo actually thought that Jeonghan wouldn't understand what Jisoo had just told him. He didn't only just understand Jisoo's feelings, but Jeonghan had been feeling this way himself for a long time now. He wasn't hearing anything new at all. 

I'm your best friend, of course I understand. Your feelings are mine, and mine are yours. I'm sorry that you had to realize and deal with this by yourself. I'm always here for you. Jeonghan's thoughts concluded in his mind, all of them yearning to be said. Something was telling him to stay quiet though, so Jeonghan listened once again, letting his instinct take over. Once Jisoo was done talking, Jeonghan would speak. 

"You know, we've been friends for so long that I can't even imagine myself without you. The time away has been torturing me, nearly ripping me from the inside out. Which yes, I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but that's seriously how I felt when I was away from you for that long of a time. It's ridiculous how much someone can mean to you without that person even knowing it. As the good saying goes, 'You never know what you have until it's gone.'" Jisoo stopped talking, letting his muscles relax more, his seating on the bed returning to a bit more of a comfortable position rather than an anxious ridden one. 

Jisoo chuckled, his laugh coming out short and quick, not having even the slightest sense of humor. Jeonghan guessed that Jisoo was reflecting off of the quote that the other had just said, and Jisoo's next words confirmed Jeonghan's guess. 

"But you're not gone. You're here, in your house, in your bedroom, more specifically - you're beside me. Do you know how long it's been since I've been able to say that, that you're beside me? It might not have actually been that long, but it certainly felt like it. I don't even know how I managed to be able to stay away for as long as I did. It was needed though, as much as it hurt us both. 

Getting back to my point. I miss you. So much that I can't even comprehend how someone can mean so much to me. As much as it terrifies me, I wanted you to know how I feel. I wanted you to know why I've been distant lately, why I haven't tried to contact you much. We've been over this, I just felt the need to explain myself better than before. And I know that that doesn't do anything to fix this, I know that, I just need you to understand where I'm coming from. I'll need time, and I can't promise you anything. I just need for you to know some things." 

Jisoo let out a final shaky breath, his hands slowing at his sides, his eyes catching a determined gleam that Jeonghan wanted to see from the other more often. 

"I need you to know that I'm not giving up on you, or whatever may come from this. I'm not giving up on us. I need you to know that I'll always be there for you, no matter when or where that may be, and that I hope that you'll do the same for me, too. I need you to know that for as long as you want me to, I'll be with you. I hope that you'll do the same for me, too." 

All of the previous thoughts that Jeonghan had had prior to this stopped. And although he hadn't said anything that night to the other boy in the room, Jeonghan felt like the words had already been spoken for him. There was no need to say something that had already been said. The feelings between the two were so connected that nothing needed to be added to be understood. 

Instead of answering, Jeonghan stepped forward, moving instinctively over to Jisoo, pulling the younger's warm body close to his. Both breathing heavily and hugging onto the other tightly, Jeonghan supposed that this was exactly where the two were meant to be. 

Together.


	8. Taking a Turn

And together they awoke, Jeonghan being the first to open his eyes, hearing the tweeting of the birds outside of the room. Glancing around himself, Jeonghan sank in the feeling of being in Jisoo's arms. The younger had moved slightly in his sleep, his hair splayed out haphazardly across Jeonghan's pillows. His arms had pulled Jeonghan closer, to the point of where it seemed like their two separate bodies had no end and no beginning.

Jisoo looked quite peaceful in his sleep, with none of his emotions taking a toll on him at that moment in time. The ginger haired boy appeared to be so tranquil that Jeonghan couldn't possibly bring himself to wake the other up. So he merrily snuck his head onto Jisoo's shoulders, snuggling closer to the younger, trying his best not to disturb his dongsaeng.

Sighing quietly, Jeonghan closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the way that the two boys' breathing aligned. If he listened close enough Jeonghan could feel Jisoo's heartbeat, how close yet so far away the younger seemed.

Jeonghan didn't get time the night before to think about anything that Jisoo had said to him. The blankets and pillows had been far too inviting to even think about thinking. But Jeonghan knew that Jisoo knew that Jeonghan felt the same way as he did, that was no secret; it had always been that way. Although now that Jeonghan knew his feelings weren't only just one sided, he felt much better about the situation.

It's not everyday that your best friend tells you that he likes you, and that he wants to be with you. That he won't give up on you.

Jeonghan felt his heart swell, his eyes suddenly misty due to the change in direction that his thoughts were wondering in. Jisoo had been so sweet, and so caring, and just - so nice that it was almost sickenly impossible. Jeonghan knew how Jisoo was, had known him all of his life, so it was nothing new; just sometimes so shocking that he couldn't help but be surprised by it.

How someone could be such a gentleman all of the time was beyond Jeonghan, but Jisoo somehow managed to pull it off effortlessly.

Go figure.

Jeonghan knew that he had somehow had the luck to meet someone like Jisoo. Someone who completed him, someone who made him feel special, someone he could trust whole heartedly. The stars had somehow aligned to make the two exist in each other's lives, and to whoever Jeonghan should be grateful towards, he fully sent thanks to that presence.  
This doesn't happen to everyone. Not everyone gets chances like this, gets this great of a life, and sometimes Jeonghan felt like he was so ungrateful towards the life that he had been given. But not ungrateful purpose, of course not. Sometimes people just tend to forget what privileges they have - it was a human thing, Jeonghan had noticed quickly.

The long, lilac haired boy, who was then cuddled up in the abundance of his fluffly pajamas and placed delicately in Jisoo's arms, had been so spaced out with his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed the other staring at him thoughtfully, the worry evident on his best friend's face.

Jisoo looked at him carefully, attentively watching Jeonghan for reasons unknown to the older of the two. Jisoo breathed out a greeting, quickly following it with one of the questions that Jeonghan really didn't want to answer at that moment in time.

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying...?" Jisoo trailed off, looking into Jeonghan's eyes. Jisoo had such pretty eyes, almost cat like; it was almost blinding, the way that the dark auburn color reflected the sunlight coming in through the window.

And suddenly Jeonghan is back down to earth again, something that he's not really well acquinted with. Being so lost up in the clouds all of the time can't be a good thing, but Jeonghan thought willfully that maybe being lost and free in his own thoughts is the way to go about it sometimes.

Although obviously, one of those times was not that particular moment. Get it together Jeonghan, before Jisoo begins to ask even more questions.

"What? No, I'm fine. I was just... thinking." Jeonghan's voice comes out slowly yet surely, gradually gaining tone as it went.

"What were you thinking about?" Jisoo said a bit wearily, looking to be afraid of hearing the answer. Jisoo bit his lip thoughtfully, not seeming to notice the way that Jeonghan squirmed in his arms at the action.

Do you not know what you do to me? Hong Jisoo, I demand you to stop this instant. You're too gorgeous for your own good. 

"I, um... Just. Things." Jeonghan shrugged slightly, or as much as he could considering the position that Jisoo was currently holding him in.

"Care to elaborate any?"

Jeonghan sighed tiredly, bringing his gaze around so that he could look at Jisoo properly.

"I was thinking about last night. About what you said. And I, I just..." Jeonghan could feel the tears building up in his eyes before he could even try to stop them, but he needed to get his thought out, so he paused for a moment, blinking rapidly.

"I'm just so lucky to have you in my life, you know? I can't imagine myself without you, not now, not ever. Until the day that I die, I want you to be there with me. I want to be the one who holds your hand, who can give you the undying love that you deserve. I want that everlasting relationship, the one that sounds cliche and cheesy. I want feelings, and to be able to tell you how much you mean to me at any point of the day. I want everything that comes with being with you, the highs and the lows. I don't care how long it takes. I want you, Jisoo."

The words hadn't been spoken without a tremble of the voice, without a few tears falling here and there. And with the way that Jisoo looked at him, Jeonghan was glad that the words were understandable, because he would not try to say all of that again; not with how much of a mess he was becoming.

"I want you too, Jeonghan. So much. I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way, but I promise you, it'll be okay. We'll be okay. I know it."

The two didn't want to let go of each other the night before, nor did they want to at that moment in time. So they stayed huddled together, pressed closer than they had ever been before.

And while it terrified the both of them to think about what was yet to come, they were also extremely glad that things were finally taking a turn for the better.


	9. Promises

Jeonghan realized, slowly yet surely, that he was a bit of an idiot. He knew that waiting for someone else to make him happy wasn't good, that it wasn't healthy; not only just for him but for anyone else that did the same, also. His life had become a drama as of late, and Jeonghan couldn't even imagine what would've happened if him and Jisoo wouldn't have talked things out, didn't actually try to make things turn out okay between the two of them.

The attempts started cautiously, Jeonghan and Jisoo starting to talk more here and there. Not nearly as much as before, no - but now there was a mutual understanding between the two, something that they could cling onto, something that would convince them that slowly building things up again would be the best way to go about it. 

Before everything crumbled to the ground again, crashing and burning, this time broken beyond repair.

Jeonghan shook his thoughts away, pulling his long, newly ash blonde colored hair into a loose pony tail on the top of his head. He refused to think much of it, no matter how far his thoughts would pull him into that direction. 

For now, Jeonghan would get ready to go and hang out with his friends, and enjoy the night like the teen should've been doing in the first place. This time he actually wanted to go out, to get his mind away for a bit - or well, however much possible. 

He had talked to the guys previous that Friday night and they had shared with him that Jisoo would be going, also; not that this surprised Jeonghan or anything, he expected the ginger haired boy to be there - it's just that Jeonghan wasn't sure that he was ready to be with Jisoo for that long after all that had happened. 

Which sounded ridiculous, Jeonghan knew that. He should just continue on like nothing was out of the ordinary, and if Jisoo decided to make it awkward or went to say something about the night that the two had shared, then so be it. Jeonghan could deal with that when (and if) the situation came; not now, not when he was finally feeling okay about everything. 

Sending one more glance at the mirror, Jeonghan fidgeted with his long sleeved grey cardigan for a moment, glancing down at his tight black jeans and white shoes to match. 

Deeming that he looked okay enough to go out, Jeonghan nodded, turning off his bathroom's light and stepping into his room for a moment. Grabbing his wallet and his phone, Jeonghan wondered his way down the stairs, calling to his parents that he was going out to the movies with some friends. 

After hearing their goodbyes, Jeonghan tugged on the wooden handle of the front door, then walked out of the house, bounding down the steps until he came to be a few feet away from Seungcheol's car that was waiting in the drive way. Jeonghan could clearly see the outlinings and movements of seven other boys in the car, and he rolled his eyes fondly, opening the car door and getting into the passenger side beside Seungcheol. 

One of the perks of being one of the oldest in the group of friends, Jeonghan thought willfully, buckling himself into the seat. He sent a flashing smile to Seungcheol, who greeted him loudly, straight pearly white teeth on display for everyone to see. 

Jeonghan glanced behind his seat to see who was in the back of the car, which resulted in Jihoon's butt nearly knocking into Jeonghan's face. Looking dumbfounded, Jeonghan laughed after a moment, and Jihoon's face flushing slightly with a slight hiss of 'shut up' thrown in Jeonghan's direction. Shaking his head, Jeonghan looked around again, this time (thankfully) not getting nearly hit in the face with another body part.

He noticed Seungkwan next, the Juju boy's loud voice taking over and colliding with the others that he was talking to. 'The others' included Chan, Junhui, Hansol, Soonyoung and Minghao - everyone else would be meeting them at the theater pretty quickly into the night. 

Jeonghan is greeted loudly, and with a bashful smile and a slight nod of the head, he greeted everyone else back. 

The car pulled out of the drive way, and then they were on their way to the theater. 

~

Bright lights. That is literally the only thing that Jeonghan registered when he got out of the car, stepping onto the pavement with a little 'hop' in his step. It was nearing 9 o'clock at night, which didn't make it surprising that the sky was then a pitch black color, but Jeonghan could've swore that he would lose his eye sight from how bright the lights that were illuminating the theater were. 

Anyway. Moving on. 

Thankfully Seungcheol decided to walk faster than usual (he usually plodded along like a little duckling, and even with how adorable that was, Jeonghan could not stand being behind slow walkers), and quickly the nine boys flooded into the theater, waiting around for a few minutes until the other four friends showed up. 

Jeonghan sheilds himself away when he saw Jisoo, almost on instinct rather than on actual want. He knew that the other boy had seen him, there was no way to pretend like he hadn't seen Jisoo's expression, even when they had barely glanced in each other's way.

Stop being such a baby, Jeonghan thought to himself, blowing some of the hair out of his eyes. Just talk to him. What could go wrong? Oh, don't open that door. So many things could go wrong; I mean, I could say the wrong thing and then have us sent back to square one, I could accidently make him feel guilty and then he'll never want to talk to me again, I - 

Jeonghan's thoughts are cut off when a gentle hand landed on his shoulder, nearly causing the long haired boy to scream in surprise. Looking forward, Jeonghan noticed that the hand belonged to Jisoo, who was looking at him with a tentative smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. 

Jeonghan let out a shaky breath, one he hadn't realized he'd been holding in, relaxing slightly under Jisoo's touch. Jisoo was familiar, Jisoo was comfortable, Jisoo was like a home away from home that Jeonghan could not afford to lose. 

Breath in, breath out. 

Jisoo asked if he and Jeonghan could talk for a moment, and despite really wanting to see the movie that they were originally there to see, Jeonghan nodded, wanting to know what Jisoo could possibly want to say to him.

"How long is this going to go on? I don't think I can bear being this quiet and awkward around you anymore, Jeonghan." Jisoo came out immediately with what he wanted to say, making Jeonghan falter for a moment. 

"I... Thought that that's what you wanted? Was some space?" Jeonghan said softly, looking up at Jisoo through his bangs. And Jeonghan was being serious, he really did think that the younger wanted space. It wasn't like he was trying to make the situation more awkward on purpose, or anything. He'd had his fair share of awkward moments in his life already, he didn't need to add to them. 

"It is, to some degree. That I want space, that is," Jisoo bit his lip, looking up from the sullen ground to place his gaze on Jeonghan, and then continued to speak. 

"Just not this much. I'm sorry if I'm being confusing, I don't mean to be," you can say that much again, "but you're still my best friend, and no matter how this ends up, I want to still talk to you, at least. And more than just random comments towards each other here and there, but ya know, like, actual conversation." 

Jeonghan blinked once, twice. Third time's a charm. 

"Okay." This is all that Jeonghan could think to say at that moment in time, and he had never despised his lack of knowing what to say this much until now - just say something, anything. You don't want him to get the wrong impression. 

Thankfully Jisoo knew how Jeonghan was, knew that Jeonghan sometimes couldn't come up with things to say right at the moment that the words should've been said. Nodding and grinning at the older of the two, Jisoo clasped their hands together, looking over at Jeonghan to see if he was okay with what Jisoo had just done. 

Jeonghan doesn't respond, just lets his hand be held, feeling the heat from Jisoo's body radiating off of him and onto Jeonghan's. The two looked up, smiling at the other for a moment, simply enjoying the happiness of being together once again. 

And that time, Jeonghan promised (not only to just himself, but to anyone else who was listening) that he wouldn't let go of Jisoo again - not then, not ever.


	10. Moving Forward

Their friendship started to turn, the broken fallen pieces coming back together time after time. The riff between them broke, the tension shattered, and then all that was left was the want to be together, the want to be apart of each other's lives in the best, most comforting way possible.

Both of the boys had decided that this want, no, this need, was more important than anything else that they could've been thrown at at the moment in time.

But telling and acting were very different things, Jeonghan realized.

Rewind a week or so back to when the movie theater event happened. Following that chapter, the two boys left the lobby, hand in hand, feeling giddy and high on love, like, or whatever emotion is was that they didn't see the need to classify.

They sank into the theater seats, Jeonghan accidently pressing his shoe clad feet onto Jisoo's, leaving a mumbling, blushing Jeonghan in the wake. In actuality, Jeonghan knew that this wasn't something to be embarrassed about, it really was an accident - and it wasn't like they hadn't been even closer in proximity before.

When Jeonghan went to apologize, Jisoo just shook his head, a slight grin on his face. They turned their attention to the movie that was playing, a comedy that Seungkwan had talked about a lot lately. Something cliche and abnormal, which, honestly, didn't surprise either of them in the slightest, having known Seungkwan.

The type of the movie didn't matter though. Their friends around them, with their chaotic babbling and shushed silences, sank into the background. All that Jeonghan knew was that him and Jisoo were holding hands, that they were actually making a break through in the situation that they were in.

All that Jeonghan knew was that he never wanted this feeling to go away. Simply being with Jisoo was enough to make Jeonghan completely lax, all of his worries washing away with just one simple look from the other.

With these thoughts running through his mind, Jeonghan sighed softly, squeezing Jisoo's hand and feeling the younger hold back just as tight.

They smiled at each other briefly, enough to let them both know that the other was there.

And if that wasn't the most reassuring thing, then Jeonghan didn't know what was.

~

Fast forward a couple of weeks. Jeonghan was sitting in his room, homework and studying clouding his brain, when his phone chimed, the notification popping up that he had just recieved a new text.

Closing his History textbook, Jeonghan rose from his desk, fixing his slightly messy bedhead that he was still sporting from that afternoon. Picking up his phone and unlocking it, Jeonghan looked through his new notification, seeing a text from Jisoo.

To: Jeonghan  
From: Jisoo   
Want to hang out? Maybe come over to mine?   
(5:45 PM)

Jeonghan found himself smiling down at his phone like an idiot, reading the words over and over again. Noticing that he was becoming one of those love sick people that couldn't even contain themselves over a simple text, Jeonghan shook his head, typing the 'reply' button.

To: Jisoo  
From: Jeonghan  
Yeah, sure! I'll be there in 10.   
(5:47 PM)

And this is the part where Jeonghan realized that he really wasn't prepared for seeing Jisoo at that moment. His hair wasn't fully brushed, his clothes weren't exactly presentable, he probably looked tired as hell despite taking an hour nap a little bit ago - a 'ping' noise stopped him in his worried thoughts.

To: Jeonghan  
From: Jisoo   
Great! And since I know that you are: don't worry about what you're wearing, or anything - you look perfect just as you are. I'll see you in a few.   
(5:49 PM)

Jeonghan almost awed out loud with how much of a sap Jisoo really was. It was sickening yet highly adorable at the same time, and Jeonghan appreciated the compliments from Jisoo whether they were actually true or not.

With Jisoo's words, Jeonghan found himself not putting much thought into how he presented himself in front of Jisoo. Not that it was any different than before this, they had seen each other way worse - but something about the circumstances made things seem much more official and high strung then they actually were.

Shaking his head, grabbing a jacket and putting his shoes on, Jeonghan bounced down the steps of his house, telling a quick goodbye to his parents.

Walking down the bare street, Jeonghan pulled the jacket closer to himself, thankfully being able to see Jisoo's (hopefully warm) house just a few places down from his own.

Arriving at the well decorated house and knocking on the door, Jeonghan was greeted with a warm smile and a welcomed sounding hello from Jisoo's mother, who looked like she had been been in the middle of baking something just as Jeonghan had showed up. Mrs. Hong told him that Jisoo was up in his room, and that dinner would be ready soon.

Jeonghan walked up the stairs, reaching Jisoo's room (the last one on the far right of the hall), knocking on the wood door quietly. Jeonghan had been in this room many times, nearly as much as he had been in his own.

Jisoo opened the door, sending Jeonghan a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the sides. Hurriedly Jeonghan was pulled into the room, Jisoo talking a mile a minute.

Jeonghan just stared at the other, letting Jisoo talk freely about whatever he wanted to towards Jeonghan. Trying his best to keep up, Jeonghan noticed bits and pieces here and there, and after a while Jisoo made a point to make the older boy sit down beside him on the bed, his fingers lacing through Jeonghan's own without much thought.

The two just seemed to naturally pull towards each other, and suddeny there was little to no space between them, Jisoo halting his words to look at Jeonghan.

"...Hey. I'm sorry, I haven't seen you in a while. My ramblings aren't making much sense, are they?" Jisoo laughed out quietly, breathing in deeply after a moment.

Shaking his head, Jeonghan glanced down at their entertwined hands, then back up at Jisoo.

"It's okay. I'm just happy to see you. I got small parts of what you were saying." Jeonghan smiled at the other, pausing to think for a moment. He still had questions, had things that he wanted answers to, but Jeonghan knew that it was okay to not know something right away.

"Everything okay?" Jisoo asked, squeezing Jeonghan's hand gently, looking at him with concerned eyes. Jeonghan nodded quickly, opening his mouth to speak, then shut it, trying to get the question to form first before he spoke anything of it.

"I just... Sorry, I was listening, but. I was wondering what happened to you and Wendy? You seemed to really like each other, and I just thought..." Jeonghan trailed off, looking down at the mahogany colored carpeting that surrounded the room's floors.

"Wendy is a good friend, but that's nothing for you to be worried about. Our feelings towards each other are completely platonic," Jisoo reassured Jeonghan quickly, not wanting Jeonghan to get the wrong idea. Sure Wendy was gorgeous, funny, nice, a good friend - but Jisoo felt nothing more for her.

All of Jisoo's feelings were towards the person sitting across from him. If only that person would understand that, too.

"And you just thought... what?"

"I thought that, um..." Jeonghan seemed unsure of himself, the words feeling stuck in his throat.

"I thought that maybe you were going to move on from me? That... maybe, by chance, you would force away your feelings for me completely and leave me for a girl that could give you everything that I can't." There. The words were now out in the open.

Jisoo looked startled, the accusation seeming to strike a cord somewhere within him.

"I think... That you think too much. I would never do something like that, you know that I wouldn't. Stop doubting things. You can give me just as much as Wendy can, or just as much as any other person, for that matter. What means the most is that we like each other, and that this feeling isn't going away. Not now, not ever. We're getting there."

Jeonghan heard these words that Jisoo said - he swore that he heard, understood, and would remember them for his whole life. But suddenly when his body was pulled closer to the warmer one next to him, and with Jisoo's hand not leaving Jeonghan's even with the slightest push of their lips to join together in the middle, Jeonghan felt like he could fly.

And what's better than feeling like you're on top of the world with the most important person to you by your side?


	11. Endless Possibilities

The time around them seemed to stop, the air shifting in a manner only meant for the two of them in that particular moment in time. 

When they pull away, their eyes shine in a different light, their looks towards each other even more compassionate and loving than they ever have been - and Jeonghan wondered if maybe that was the first time in which they both felt like they could be truly and utterly reckless with each other, if maybe that was the time in which he realized that he didn't need to put any restrictions on himself and that he should just be able to live. 

And Jisoo was smiling, tangling their fingers together, not saying a word. 

It is a common saying that states 'actions speak louder than words'.

And, for the first time, Jeonghan let himself believe it. 

~

Watching Jisoo had always been something that Jeonghan would never get tired of. Not then, not ever. 

When Jisoo was passionate about something, he would put his all into it - no matter what the circumstance. When it came to music, or art, or acting, nothing could get in Jisoo's way when he was determined to do his best. He would shatter expections that some others had conjured of, starting his own and aiming for it until he reached the highest point that he could. 

This was one of the many things that Jeonghan liked about Jisoo. He had always wished that he had the other's drive, his motivation to always do what he knew that he needed to, what he wanted to. 

It wasn't about needing to do anything. Jisoo wanted to better himself, simple as that. 

Being incredibly sweet and selfless also added in to the list of things that Jeonghan liked most about Jisoo - and let me tell you, it was a long list. Things ranging from big significance to of little significance were written, branded into Jeonghan's memory whenever he felt like he needed them.

Just being with Jisoo again was enough for Jeonghan. But having back the feeling of belonging, of having someone to love and be there with - well, Jeonghan wouldn't change that feeling for the world.

~

When Jisoo asked Jeonghan to be his boyfriend, his hands had shook, his voice wavered, quivered slightly due to not only nerves of what Jeonghan would answer, but also to how his parents would. 

Family was a huge part of Jisoo's life, and thinking about how they would react to the two boys made Jisoo extremely wary. Jeonghan knew this, knew that whatever they had could easily become more of a mess, something that both of them could end up regretting in the end. It could end up with them both in shambles, tearing each other apart in the best yet worst way possible. 

But Jeonghan also knew that it could be the best decision of their lives. It could lead to them being a long term relationship, one full of love, support, comfort, care that could mend not only the mind, but the heart and soul, also. It could lead to them growing old together, living off in a comfortable city with everything that they needed to make and keep a balanced life. It could lead to them graduating school together, celebrating their accomplishments with each other, with friends that had always been there, family that wasn't always there but had the best idea in mind for them. 

It could lead to them adopting children together, raising them with the values that they wanted to have, making sure that they're loved and cared for no matter what. It could lead to them -

The possibilities are endless. 

Jeonghan said yes, deciding that the possibilities better be given a chance. 

They spend the rest of the day cuddled up next to each other, rain pouring down on the windowsill outside of Jeonghan's room, setting a calm, relaxing feel to the already lax atmosphere surrounding them.

Jeonghan laid his head on Jisoo's chest, his arms hugging Jisoo tighter to his body as Jisoo placed a soft, whisper like peck on Jeonghan's forehead. 

When Jisoo was around, Jeonghan felt like it was easier to breathe.

Which was ironic, since Jisoo was always the one to take Jeonghan's breath away in the first place. 

~ 

They aren't ones that need to be together all of the time. Jeonghan thanked his lucky stars that Jisoo needed space just as much as he did, and the boys fell into a pattern that revolved around being together, being by themselves, being with friends, and with their families. Time divided evenly between the three of them - along with their own personal time, time for school, etc - didn't make it easier, but eventually settles them into a sense of reality as to how things would really work out within their relationship. 

Even without their parents knowing (although Jeonghan's family always had a clue, no matter how much they tried to deny it) of their new formed status, things started to fall and click into place without Jeonghan and Jisoo even realizing it. 

Great things come at the most unexpected times. You just have to wait for it. 

~ 

"Do you think that everything will work out?" 

The question is very broad yet straight forward, cutting through the silence that settled before them as they laid on the cold, grass covered ground, looking up at the stars that twinkled in the late night sky.

To Jeonghan it feels like the stars know things that we do not. They seem to mock us with their beauty, ones that burn out too quickly, too soon to ever be considered a shooting star, before they disintegrate into the sky with one big 'poof', leaving no goodbye or evidence of their last wish, just stardust sprinkled into the sky, remaining until the next star comes and repeats the process that the first did all too well. 

Perhaps our lives, as humans, are the same as the lives of stars. 

"...I think that when I'm with you, anything and everything will work out perfectly fine. There's no use in worrying about it, because for now we're both happy and content with how things are, and isn't that what this is all about?"

Jeonghan seemed to get his answer when Jisoo's lips were suddenly on his, the warm feeling bubbling in his stomach as he pressed back, feeling their hands being entertwined by their sides. 

The possibilities are endless, and maybe nothing will work out, or maybe it all will, but regardless as to how fate decided to bring them together, they have each other for that moment, and that's all that they need to know to have everything feel like it's okay.


End file.
